Changes

To say life changed in the past two months and five days since my last post is beyond understatement. From changes in our personal plans to global upheaval in a fight against a novel virus, nothing seems the same.

The third week of February one of our three dogs had to be humanely euthanized. We’re not talking about details. That’s enough to know.

Another of our dogs required extensive veterinary care which took a great deal of money and time to complete. He is almost completely healed.

We cancelled our Elkhart trip in February due to a predicted snowstorm in that area. We also finally admitted to each other that van life might not be the best RV life option for us, so we started exploring Class C RVs that would give a little more room for the two of us and our two dogs.

Then the novel coronavirus hit our area.

Our retirement savings took a huge hit just like everyone else’s. We began to realize that might be the most minor of changes in our lives for the next few months.

But we decided not to give up on our dream of RV life. We prayed, soul-searched, talked. I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve cried a lot over the past couple of months at the sorrow and fear and inability to know what to do and when to do it.

We took to heart the thought that it’s the RV lifestyle we truly want. The vehicle is less important. With that mindset we decided to go the least expensive route to get us on the road.

Truck and travel trailer.

We’ve narrowed our choices by shopping online. We had toured a few travel trailers during our RV search you know, when we could still go out to shop in person. We’ve done enough research to know we want and what we think we’ll need.

Late last fall we had thought to leave our jobs maybe at the end of March. Now it’s looking to be a bit later. We both work in healthcare, so the timing stinks. But, honestly, now may be as good a time as any to get out of healthcare. Praying about that too.

Regardless of when we leave our jobs, when we buy our truck and trailer, when we sell our house, we are moving forward with our dream and the vision God has given us. Neither of us knows what this is going to look like, but we know who does, and we trust Him.

Monday Meditation

I realized over the weekend that this flare of reflux and heartburn is related to some anxiety and stress I’ve been experiencing the past few months. So lately I’ve been meditating on peace, God’s PEACE, the kind of peace that only comes from Him. Daily life on earth doesn’t offer much in the way of peace.

But He does.

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7 NIV

Isaiah 41:10

Here’s where I’m at today. Honestly, I’m struggling with faith. I’m struggling, today, to believe the vision I have for our future will happen and that it’s not just a daydream. I know this is where faith comes in, where I have to choose to believe, and to keep working toward the vision. Y’all, some days that’s HARD to do. Some days the enemy creeps in with those old sound tracks in my head telling me this will never work, I’m not good enough, nothing I try works out.

Many of you know what I’m talking about. I think we all have those negative sound tracks at one time or another.

I know they’re lies. I KNOW it. But some days, y’all, some days, the fight is hard and exhausting.

So here’s where I am. I surrender to the knowledge of who I am in Christ. Even though I don’t feel it today. Even though, at this moment, it’s a purely intellectual exercise. What I feel doesn’t matter, doesn’t change the truth.

Are you struggling right now? How can I pray for you this week?

What Am I Really Seeking First

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

I’ve been trying so hard to live by this scripture, especially as we prepare for full time RV life in a year and a half. But I have struggled and failed over the past couple of weeks. Instead of leaning on God to provide, I have been frantically trying to figure out how we’re going to afford the RV we want. Then struggling over trying to decide what RV we want. I have to get back to trusting Him. He already has this figured out. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other as I follow Him.

Friday Favorites

Today, just one favorite. This is my current favorite song. As much as it speaks to me, it may very well remain on my all time favorite songs list. Threads of Grace wove themselves through my life over the past year, particularly in our marriage. Oh, but for His Grace…

 

Returns

Hi 2014. Welcome to the world. I’m glad to see you, but I’ve got some super important and high expectations from you. Just so we can get off on the right foot together I’ll share some of them with you.

To be clear, 2014, you’re my year of returns. Here’s what that means to me. During our time together I’ll be returning to my creative roots.

I’ll be returing to the basics of my faith as a follower of Jesus-not church doctrine-but the gritty mess of what it means to walk in Jesus’ footprints.

You still with me, 2014?

I’m also returning to simplicity, to a lack of extravagance, to the absence of drama.

I’m returning to seeking honest and real friendships by being an honest and real friend to those in my life who can return that to me.

Have I scared you off yet, 2014? No? Good.

Now, lets get moving. We’ve got a whole lot of returns to make.